Max: IN A WORLD WHERE THE MESSENGERS OF TRUTH,
THE COURIERS OF JUSTICE, BRAVELY GO FORTH
TO COMPLETE THEIR APPOINTED ROUTES...
[COMPUTER VOICE SPEAKING]
ONE LONE HERO STANDS OUT AMONG THE REST.
Max: ONE FEARLESS RIDER HAS THE FORTITUDE
TO DELIVER THE GOODS.
TO STAND UP TO THE FORCES OF DARKNESS,
THE LEGIONS OF DOOM, THE ARMIES OF OPPRESSION,
AND THE EVIL ICE CREAM MAN.
PAPERBOY.
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING]
Ice Cream Man: WELCOME TO THE ICE AGE, PAPERBOY!
[MANIACAL LAUGHTER]
Ice Cream Man: ♪ I SCREAM, YOU SCREAM ♪
WE ALL SCREAM FOR ICE CREAM!
OH, NUTS! I FORGOT THE SPRINKLES!
HA HA HA HA HA!
HEY, MAX.
OHH!
HMM! A TONY HAWK SUNDAE!
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
OH, THAT ICE CREAM MAN SURE IS EVIL.
[HORNS BLARE]
[HORN HONKS]
HA HA HA HA HA HA!
[BRAKES SQUEAL]
[SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY, HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
HUH!
HAH!
[KUNG FU MOVIE STYLE] I WILL DEFEAT YOU
WITH MY COMPLICATED FIGHTING MOVE.
WE SHALL SEE WHOSE KUNG FU IS SUPERIOR. HYAH!
[MAKING KUNG FU FIGHTING SOUNDS]
YAH!
OHH. YAH!
PAPERBOY POWER!
AAH!
[THUD]
HA.
Ice Cream Man: DIDN'T HURT!
YOU CAN RUN, BUT YOU CAN'T HIDE, PAPERBOY!
♪ EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ GONNA DO EVERYTHING ♪
♪ GONNA DO MY BEST TO REACH YOUR SKY ♪
♪ 'CAUSE I DON'T CARE ♪
WHOO-HOO!
HUH?
[TIRES SQUEALING]
YEAH!
PAPER?
WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?
I, UH, STOPPED FOR SOME ICE CREAM.
[TIRES SQUEALING]
Both: AAH!
[BEEPING] GET OUT OF BED, JABRODIE.
GET OUT OF BED, JABRODIE.
GET OUT OF BED--OW!
HEH.
Max: OK, I DREAMED IT.
SO MAYBE MY LIFE REALLY ISN'T LIKE THAT.
AND MAYBE I'M NOT THE COOLEST KID EVER.
BUT TODAY WAS THE FIRST DAY OF JUNIOR HIGH,
AND I WAS SURE THAT THINGS WERE GONNA BE DIFFERENT.
YA-HA-HA!
I HAD A NEW LOOK.
I WAS A BALLER, A SHOT-CALLER.
I WAS A PLAYER WITH PHAT ATTITUDE.
OR, AS I LIKE TO CALL IT...
PHAT-ITUDE.
HI, MOM.
IT'S FINISHED. THE HOUSE IS PERFECT.
JUST AS I'D ALWAYS PICTURED IT.
BUT LET'S KEEP THAT BETWEEN YOU AND ME, OK?
Max: MEET MY MOM.
SHE'S BEEN PUTTING THE "FINISHING TOUCHES"
ON OUR HOUSE FOR, LIKE, 6 YEARS.
YOU COULD SAY SHE'S A BIT OBSESSED.
THIS IS MY HOUSE. MY KITCHEN! MINE!
MORNING.
Max: THIS IS MY DAD.
HE WORKS IN ADVERTISING. HIS BOSS, MR. FOGE,
MAKES HIM WEAR GOOFY COSTUMES SOMETIMES.
LUCKILY, HE'S GOT US FOR SUPPORT.
WHAT IS THAT?
HEH.
I'M, UH, LIEUTENANT LOBSTER.
FOR THE LOBSTER SHACK PITCH TODAY?
DO YOU REALLY HAVE TO WEAR THAT?
LILY, COME ON.
FOGE HAS GOT A DOZEN JUNIOR AD EXECS
LINED UP BEHIND ME
WHO'D BE HAPPY TO BE LIEUTENANT LOBSTER.
FOGED AGAIN.
Don: BUT JUST FOR THIS PITCH.
Max: I BETTER BE OFF.
Lily: OFF TO JUNIOR HIGH,
MY LITTLE SOLDIER ALL GROWN UP. MM.
GOOD LUCK, HONEY.
Max: THANKS, MOM.
DON'T BREAK ANYTHING. OK, MOM.
Don: HEY, MAX? YOU WANT A RIDE?
UM...THAT'S OK.
I'M GONNA TAKE THE BUS.
YEAH, THE BUS. RIGHT.
Max: YOU KNOW THAT KID EVERYONE THINKS IS WEIRD,
BUT HE DOESN'T CARE WHAT EVERYONE THINKS?
THIS IS HIM. HE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
HIS NAME'S ROBERT, BUT WE CALL HIM ROBE. GUESS WHY?
HEY, YOU GUYS!
Max: THIS IS MY OTHER BEST FRIEND. HER NAME'S MEGAN.
SHE NEVER GOES ANYWHERE WITHOUT HER CLARINET...
AAH!
[THUD] OH!
[LAUGHTER]
Max: EVEN WHEN SHE TAKES A TRIP.
YOU OK?
YEAH, I'M TOUGH LIKE A TANK.
YEAH, THE SEPTIC TANK.
[LAUGHS]
SAYS THE FREAK IN THE ROBE
THAT SMELLS LIKE DIAPERS.
[MOCKING]
MAX, WHERE'S YOUR BASSOON?
UM...MY BASSOON...
I THOUGHT WE WERE GONNA TAKE BAND TOGETHER.
I'VE BEEN THINKING.
IT'S JUNIOR HIGH. IS BAND STILL COOL?
COOL? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
SINCE WHEN HAVE WE BEEN COOL?
ALL I'M SAYIN' IS,
LET'S TRY TO ACT COOL.
SWEET! A CAN.
BLECH! EWW!
♪ TODAY ♪
♪ I CHANGED ♪
♪ BUT TOO LATE ♪
♪ 'CAUSE EVERY TOWN FEELS THE SAME ♪
♪ I'M DIFFERENT ♪
♪ AND YOU'RE DISTANT ♪
♪ ADD IT UP AND IT MAKES NO DIFFERENCE ♪
FOR THE YEARBOOK.
HOW'S THIS? "SHEEP ARRIVE FOR SLAUGHTER"?
Kid: NO, NO, NO! PLEASE! PLEASE!
DON'T MAKE ME GO!
I DON'T WANNA GO! I DON'T WANNA GO!
DOES HE KNOW SOMETHING WE DON'T?
Jindraike: HERE THEY COME.
WITH THEIR PIMPLES AND THEIR BRACES
AND THEIR RICKETS AND THEIR LICE.
THEIR SNOT-NOSED, BAGGY-PANTSED,
HIGH-PITCHED, SQUEALING VOICES.
AND YET, EACH ONE A RUNG
ON THE LADDER OF MY SUCCESS.
A LADDER THAT ENDS IN A VAST NEON SIGN
THAT STRETCHES ACROSS THE NIGHT SKY.
Mrs. Rangoon: PRINCIPAL JINDRAIKE?
THESE CAME FROM YOUR REAL-ESTATE AGENT.
THE SIGN, MRS. RANGOON. WHAT DOES IT SAY?
"SUPERINTENDENT JINDRAIKE."
THE SIGN ON MY OFFICE DOOR.
THAT'S WHAT IT SHOULD SAY.
SOUNDS SO MUCH BETTER
THAN "SUPERINTENDENT KNEBWORTH."
IT'S CLASSIER, TOO.
WHEN KNEBWORTH SEES WHAT I'VE DONE HERE
IN HIS HONOR, THE OLD DINOSAUR
IS SURE TO MAKE ME HIS SUCCESSOR.
BUT, FIRST THINGS FIRST, MRS. RANGOON.
SET UP THE VIDEO BROADCAST MACHINE DEVICE.
[SPRAYS]
I WANT TO ADDRESS THE ACNE-STRAFED MASSES.
OOH--AAH!
[CLATTER]
OW!
CURTIS JUNIOR HIGH HAS A LONG
AND FASCINATING HISTORY OF COLORFUL BULLIES.
YOU'RE LYING.
AM I?
IN 1985, TOMATO-FACE CALLAHAN.
HE'D WALK RIGHT UP TO YOU
AND SHOVE A TOMATO IN YOUR FACE.
[GASPS]
Photographer: 1991, WEDGIE JACKSON.
HE INVENTED THE WORLD WIDE WEDGE.
[GASPS]
Photographer: WHICH BRINGS US TO THIS YEAR.
Both: TROY McGINTY.
[GASPS]
Boy: WORD IS, HE'S GONNA POUND
ON A DIFFERENT KID EVERY DAY.
AND HE'S DEVISED HIS OWN SPECIAL WY
OF LETTING THE WORLD KNOW
WHO HE'S COMING AFTER.
[CROWD GASPS]
Crowd: MAX KEEBLE?
HERE.
Teacher: ALL RIGHT. JULIUS KLINGHOFFER.
HERE. ALL RIGHT.
LIL'--LIL' ROMEO?
YO, WHUZZUP? I'M OVER HERE, WO DAT.
OK.
LIL' ROMEO'S IN THE HOUSE.
I'M DOWN WITH THAT.
TINA MICHAELS?
Jindraike on TV: AND NOW...
THIS IS PRINCIPAL JINDRAIKE.
ALL STUDENTS WILL REPORT TO THE ASSEMBLY HALL
DURING THIRD PERIOD FOR A SPECIAL PRESENTATION.
ATTENDANCE IS MANDATORY.
ALL MUST ATTEND.
NOT ATTENDING IS PROHIBITED.
THAT IS ALL.
THANK YOU.
YES! THE REVIEWS ARE IN.
HAA! JINDRAIKE, 2 THUMBS UP.
[LAUGHTER]
Jindraike: I LAUGHED, I CRIED.
THE MAN'S A GENIUS.
Mrs. Rangoon: PRINCIPAL JINDRAIKE!
WHAT IS IT NOW, RANGOON?
THE RED LIGHT'S STILL ON.
I'M WELL AWARE OF THAT.
[LAUGHING]
Boy: DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE!
GOOD MORNING.
I'M MS. DINGMAN, AND WELCOME TO LIFE SCIENCE.
[WHIMPERS]
YOU OK?
I CAN'T FEEL MY FINGERS.
[GULP]
...LIKE THIS.
PHEROMONES.
NATURE'S DATING SERVICE.
ODORLESS, COLORLESS.
IT'S HOW MANY SPECIES ATTRACT MATES.
A CHEMICAL PROCESS WHICH CAUSES
AN IRRESISTIBLE ATTRACTION...
[STUDENTS GASP]
IN THE...AHEM... OPPOSITE SEX.
[GULP]
ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
WOULD SOMEONE LIKE
TO OPEN THE WINDOW FOR ME, PLEASE?
Boys: OOH! OOH! OOH!
YOU IN THE...ROBE.
Boys: AW.
[BRACK]
Boy: WOW, THAT'S COOL!
Ms. Dingman: YOU SEE?
IRRESISTIBLE.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[BRITNEY SPEARS' ...BABY, ONE MORE TIME PLAYING]
♪ OH, BABY, BABY ♪
♪ EH, EH ♪
[MUSIC SLOWS AND STOPS]
ARE YOU OK?
YEAH! YEAH.
I'M FINE.
YOU LOOK KIND OF FAMILIAR.
I DELIVER YOUR PAPER.
UM, I'M MAX, JENNA.
OH, YEAH.
SO, YOU GO TO SCHOOL HERE NOW?
YOU PLAY TH-THE CLARINET.
FIRST CHAIR.
I'M IN BAND, TOO. I PLAY THE BASSOON.
HMM. WELL, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.
I'LL SEE YOU, UH, BASSOON.
SEE YOU BASSOON?
ECCH! STUPID!
MAX KEEBLE.
TROY!
TROY McGINTY, HOW ARE YA?
FIRST VICTIM OF THE YEAR THERE, BUDDY.
IT'S A BIG HONOR.
Max: YOU KNOW THE GUY
YOU USED TO HANG OUT WITH WHEN YOU WERE LITTLE,
BUT AS YOU GOT OLDER YOU WENT IN OPPOSITE DIRECTIONS?
WELL, TROY McGINTY WASN'T ALWAYS A BULLY.
I REMEMBER WHEN HE CAME TO MY FOURTH BIRTHDAY.
THE THEME WAS MacGOOGLES THE FROG.
MacGoogles the Frog: ♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME ♪
♪ WITH YOUR FAVORITE HIGHLAND FROG ♪
I DON'T LIKE MacGOOGLE!
HE'S NOT REAL, TROY.
HE'S JUST A TV CHARACTER.
IS THERE A WEE LITTLE LADDIE
HAVIN' HIS BIRTHDAY TODAY?
MacGOOGLE! HE'S TRYING TO EAT ME!
SCAREDY-CAT, SCAREDY-CAT...
TROY, IT'S ME, MR. KEEBLE.
MacGOOGLES ATE MAX'S DADDY!
AAH!
Max: TROY HAD GROWN A LOT SINCE THEN.
WHOA! WHOA! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[SCHOOL BELL RINGING]
WHERE'S MAX?
I DON'T KNOW.
WASN'T IT YOUR TURN TO WATCH HIM?
Troy: WELCOME TO COOKING WITH TROY.
FIRST, WHAT YOU WANNA DO IS
DIP YOUR LITTLE PIECE OF CHICKEN
IN A NICE, THICK BATTER.
NO. TROY, NO!
HOLD IT! STOP!
OK, WE'RE SET.
YAH!
NO! TROY!
AAH!
Troy: NOW WHAT YOU WANNA DO IS
ROLL YOUR PIECE OF DEAD MEAT
IN SOME BREAD CRUMBS.
PERFECT.
AND NOW THAT THAT'S DONE,
OUR BIRD SHOULD BE READY TO GO IN.
AAH!
Max: OH, GROSS! ECCH!
HOPE YOU LIKE LASAGNA.
SETTLE DOWN.
[TALKING CONTINUES]
CEASE!
[TALKING STOPS]
THIS THURSDAY, SUPERINTENDENT KNEBWORTH
WILL BE HERE TO INSPECT THE SCHOOL.
AND SO I AM UPGRADING MY POLICY OF ZERO TOLERANCE
TO ONE OF... SUB-ZERO TOLERANCE.
WHICH IS...
MORE THAN ZERO.
[LAUGHING]
CEASE!
[LAUGHING STOPS]
AND NOW, WITHOUT ANY FURTHER ADO,
WHAT'S THAT I HEAR?
[BAND MUSIC PLAYING]
THE PITTER-PATTER OF LITTLE FEET?
ALLOW ME TO INTRODUCE TO YOU THE NEWEST ADDITION
TO THE CURTIS JUNIOR HIGH SCHOOL COTTONTAILS--
3 FOREIGN EXCHANGE STUDENTS FROM EASTERN EUROPE,
AND THEIR NAMES ARE...
UNIMPORTANT, BECAUSE THEY'RE HERE
TO LEAD US TO GRIDIRON GLORY.
WHY, ALL THEY NEED IS A PLACE TO PLAY.
STUDENTS, I GIVE YOU... YOUR NEW FOOTBALL STADIUM.
[CHEERING]
OOH-YAH!
HA!
[CHEERING STOPS]
[SQUISHING FOOTSTEPS]
[DOOR CLOSES]
Crowd: EWW!
YOU, THERE! LITTLE BOY!
PRANKSTER!
[LAUGHS]
WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
UH, MAX KEEBLE.
I'VE GOT MY EYE ON YOU, MAX KEEBLE.
YOU'RE ON MY LIST.
IT WASN'T MY-- SIT!
HEH HEH HEH.
THIS IS A BAD JUNIOR HIGH.
I MEAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE WHAT McGINTY DID TO YOU.
MR. JINDRAIKE SAYS IF SOMEONE TRIES
TO START A FIGHT WITH YOU,
YOU KNOW, JUST IGNORE 'EM.
EW! ROBE!
EW.
Megan: MAX, YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH
THE REST OF THE DAY LIKE THAT.
I DON'T PLAN ON IT.
WHERE'S HE GOING?
HOW GREAT.
♪ HEY BABY ♪ ♪ HEY BABY ♪
♪ YEAH BABY ♪ ♪ YEAH BABY ♪
♪ HEY BABY ♪
COOL.
HEY, MAN, YOU GOT ANY SPARE AIR?
♪ YEAH BABY ♪
WHOO!
HE CALLS HIS VICTIMS "INVESTORS"?
HE'S GOT ALL THE LATEST TECHNOLOGY,
AND HE'S LOOKING TO MAKE A KILLING
IN THE STOCK MARKET.
M-M-M-M-M-M-M- MARCHING CALL.
♪ YOU KNOW A FELLA'S GOOD FOR THE MOOLA ♪
Max: THIS GUY, DOBBS, WAS ONCE A STOCK-MARKET WHIZ KID.
BY AGE 10, HE WAS A MILLIONAIRE.
12:15. MEETING WITH KEEBLE.
KEEBLE.
Max: BY AGE 12, HE'D LOST IT ALL.
NOW HE'S OBSESSED WITH GETTING IT BACK,
ONE KID AT A TIME.
Dobbs: KEEBLE!
CAUGHT YOUR ACT IN THE ASSEMBLY.
LOOKS LIKE YOU CAN USE SOME HELP
WITH MANAGING YOUR PORTFOLIO.
Max: HEY, THAT'S MY LUNCH MONEY!
AND YOU HAVE IT ALL IN CASH.
KID, LET ME HOLD THIS FOR A WHILE
AND I'LL SET YOU UP WITH A NICE MUTUAL FUND.
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
HE'S TAKING MAX'S LU--
[DOBBS GROWLS]
[TIMIDLY] LUNCH MONEY.
IS THIS TRUE, MR. DOBBS?
NO. I'M JUST, UH, SPREADING SOME INVESTMENT WISDOM.
SPEAKING OF WHICH,
HOW DID VIAMWORK SYSTEMS WORK OUT FOR YOU?
HEH HEH. BEST MONEY I EVER SPENT.
BY THE WAY,
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF HANDSPRING?
HANDSPRING? IT'S MOVIN' TODAY. I'D SAY BUY.
THANKS. NO PROB.
UH...
DON'T MISS ME. HA!
'SCUSE ME!
ANYBODY WANT MY CARROTS?
WHAT?
KEEBLE!
YOU MAY BE UNDER THE IMPRESSION
THAT I ENCOURAGE HORSEPLAY AND MALARKEY.
I DON'T ENCOURAGE IT.
I EXCOURAGE IT.
EXCOURAGE?
IT MEANS THE OPPOSITE OF ENCOURAGE.
LOOK IT UP.
Ms. Dingman: ELLIOT!
AND SO, YOUNG MAN, REMEMBER,
"STUDY" RHYMES WITH "BUDDY." SCRAM.
HEY.
HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
I THOUGHT YOU SAID BAND WASN'T COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU.
YEAH, BUT I-I THOUGHT IT OVER,
AND I'VE DECIDED THAT BAND IS PRETTY, UM...
[BRITNEY SPEARS' ...BABY, ONE MORE TIME PLAYING]
HOT.
Jenna: EXCUSE ME.
WHAT?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING SITTING IN MY SEAT?
DOES IT SAY YOUR NAME ON IT OR SOMETHING?
YES.
SO, IF YOU DON'T MIND, SHOO-SHOO. LET'S GO.
CAN YOU BELIEVE HER?
HI, JENNA.
HEY.
WELCOME, EVERYONE.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
SETTLE, PLEASE.
I SHOULD TELL YOU RIGHT AWAY--
YOU'LL NOTICE THAT WE ARE A BIT CRAMPED IN HERE,
THANKS TO SOME TEMPORARY STORAGE FOISTED ON US
BY SOMEONE WHO HAS ABSOLUTELY NO APPRECIATION
OF WHAT WE DO IN HERE.
NOW, IF YOU'LL GO TO THE BEGINNING
♪ FOR A SECOND NOBODY'S LOOKIN' BACK AT ME ♪
♪ I NEVER EVEN NOTICE WHERE THEY GO ♪
♪ THE SUN IS SHINING DOWN AND ♪
♪ THERE'S NO ONE ELSE AROUND NOW ♪
♪ WISH YOU WERE HERE TO HEAR ME SAY ♪
♪ THIS IS GONNA BE ♪
♪ MY GREATEST DAY ♪
♪ HOW FAR WOULD I GO ♪
♪ JUST TO HEAR EVERYBODY SAY ♪
[HORN HONKS]
[BRAKES SQUEALING] [GLASS BREAKING]
♪ THIS IS GONNA BE ♪
♪ MY GREATEST DAY ♪
HEY, TAD. DID YOU MISS ME?
Max: THIS IS TAD.
HE TOTALLY RULES THE ANIMAL SHELTER.
I HELPED NURSE HIM WHEN HE WAS A BABY CHIMP,
AND WE'VE BEEN BUDS EVER SINCE.
[KISSES]
HEY, MAX!
Max: HI, MARLEY. WHAT'S UP?
HEY, COULD YOU DO ME A FAVOR
AND FEED THE GOAT?
SURE. WHAT'S GOING ON?
DIDN'T YOU HEAR?
WE'RE CLOSING DOWN.
SOME CREEP BOUGHT UP THE PROPERTY
AND CANCELED OUR LEASE.
WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN TO THE ANIMALS?
WE'RE DOIN' THE BEST WE CAN
TO FIND HOMES FOR ALL OF 'EM,
BUT WE ONLY GOT UNTIL THE END
OF THE WEEK.
IT'S MESSED UP, I KNOW.
IT'S REAL MESSED UP.
[MAA]
Max: I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.
SOMETHING HAD TO BE DONE, BUT WHAT?
I THOUGHT MAYBE MY PARENTS MIGHT HAVE AN IDEA.
THEY DID.
WE'RE MOVING?!
YEAH.
FOGE WANTS ME TO HEAD UP THE NEW DIVISION.
I-I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. WHEN?
FRIDAY.
THIS FRIDAY?
MAN, THIS IS TOTALLY UNFAIR!
I MEAN, MY-- MY LIFE IS HERE,
MY--MY FRIENDS ARE HERE.
Don: YEAH, WE KNOW THAT, MAX.
BUT YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA MAKE PLENTY
OF NEW FRIENDS IN CHICAGO.
CH-CHICAGO?!
[SPUTTERS]
THIS WAS GONNA BE MY YEAR. HERE.
Lily: SWEETIE,
WE KNOW THIS IS HARD ON YOU.
IT'S HARD ON ALL OF US.
WELL, THEN I HAVE A GREAT, GREAT IDEA.
LET'S NOT GO.
FOGE IS MY BOSS. HE'S COUNTING ON ME.
CAN'T YOU JUST SAY NO?
NO. IT'S NOT THAT SIMPLE.
THIS BITES.
HE'LL BE FINE.
[DOOR SLAMS]
[GLASS BREAKS]
Megan: BUT, MAX,
CHICAGO'S, LIKE, 1,000 MILES AWAY.
YEAH, BETTER TELL YOUR PARENTS
TO WATCH OUT FOR CARJACKERS.
THESE GUYS'LL JUST COME UP TO YOU
AT STOPLIGHTS AND TAKE YOUR CAR AWAY.
I SAW IT ON 20/20.
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT THE MOTOR CITY.
MAYBE YOU COULD HIRE A LAWYER
AND LEGALLY EMANCIPATE YOURSELF.
YOU CAN STAY WITH ME. I'LL ASK MY MOM.
Robe: YEAH. MY DAD'LL GIVE YOU
A JOB HERE AT THE JUNKYARD.
YOU KNOW WHAT? NICE TRY, GUYS.
YOU KNOW WHAT? FACE IT, I'VE BEEN--I'VE BEEN FOGED.
[BRAKES SCREECH]
[GASPS]
UHH.
WE MEET AGAIN, PAPERBOY.
[EVIL LAUGHTER]
Max: OK. EVIL ICE CREAM MAN, ME.
YOU'RE WONDERING WHY, RIGHT?
[LAUGHING EVILLY]
Max: UNHH! AHH!
[ICE CREAM MAN STAMMERS]
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Max: WELL, I ONCE FOUND A COCKROACH
IN MY SNOW CONE.
MY MOM CALLED THE HEALTH DEPARTMENT,
AND HE GOT NAILED.
HE'S BEEN TRYING TO NAIL ME EVER SINCE.
[SIREN BLARING]
DRAT! THE FUZZ!
THIS ISN'T OVER, PAPERBOY!
[RADIO SQUAWKS]
HELLO, OFFICER.
SNOW DOODLE?
Boy: HEY, LOOK, IT'S DUMPSTER BOY.
IT'S REEKY STINKO, THE GARBAGE KID.
[KIDS LAUGH]
Robe: HA, REEKY STINKO.
HE JUST MADE THAT UP. NOW, THAT'S GOOD.
Megan: HEY, MAX, CHECK IT OUT.
I MADE UP SOME FLYERS
TO HELP SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER.
I THOUGHT MAYBE
YOU AND I COULD PUT 'EM UP AROUND SCHOOL?
Max: WHY BOTHER?
A FLYER'S NOT GONNA MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE.
HE DIDN'T MEAN THAT.
COVER ME. I'M GOING IN.
Jindraike: AAAH.
HE MOVES, HE FAKES. RANGOON, THINK FAST.
[SHATTERING]
NICE HANDS. NOW, PICK UP THE BALL
AND PUT IT IN THE CASE.
IT'S FROM KNEBWORTH'S CITY CHAMPIONSHIP GAME.
I'M GOING ON MY WALKABOUT.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
MRS. RANGOON, WHAT'S THIS?
SOME OF THE KIDS ARE TRYING TO SAVE
THE ANIMAL SHELTER DOWN THE STREET.
KIDS? WHAT KIDS?
YOU KNOW, THE ONES WITH THE SENSE OF CARING
AND CIVIC DUTY.
YOU THERE. CEASE!
WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?
HEY, I DIDN'T DO THAT.
SO YOU WANT TO SAVE
THE FILTHY LITTLE BEASTS, EH?
PERHAPS YOU WANT ME TO GIVE THE ANIMALS MY CAR?
DO YOU WANT ME TO GIVE MY CAR TO THE SMELLY GOAT?
GOATS...DON'T DRIVE, SIR.
I DON'T CARE WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO.
THE SMELLY GOAT WILL NEVER GET MY CAR.
EVER.
THE ANIMALS HAVE NOWHERE TO GO.
SOME CREEP'S CLOSING DOWN THE SHELTER.
I'M CLOSING DOWN THE SHELTER, SILLY...
BOY.
[STAMMERS] WHAT?
ALL I NEED NOW IS THE RIGHT BULLDOZER.
I'M THINKING BIG AND YELLOW.
WHERE DID YOU THINK I WAS GOING TO BUILD
KNEBWORTH STADIUM, IN YOUR HOUSE? HA HA.
YOUR HOUSE. THAT'S RICH.
THERE WOULDN'T BE ROOM.
[SPRAYS]
WHOA.
♪ BETTER WATCH OUT FOR THE KING OF THE HILL ♪
♪ HE'S REALLY BAD AND TOTALLY CHILL ♪
♪ BETTER WATCH OUT FOR THE KING OF THE HILL ♪
Kids: FREAK WITH ROBE?
[WHISTLE BLOWS]
ALL RIGHT, GUYS. HIT THE SHOWERS.
[SIGHS]
COME ON, LADIES.
[GASPS AND MOANS]
HELLO, FREAK.
Robe: LET ME OUT! [LAUGHTER]
COME ON, LET ME OUT!
WHAT'S GOING ON, HUH?
McGINTY'S LATEST VICTIM.
YOU GOTTA CHECK THIS OUT. HA HA HA.
Robe: LET ME OUT! COME ON!
LET ME OUT! MAN.
COME ON, LET ME OUT.
ALL RIGHT, OK. COME ON, MAX.
OK. IT'S OK. [GROANS]
HE'S A LITTLE CLAUSTROPHOBIC,
SO HE MIGHT--
[ROBE RETCHES]
[VOMIT SPLASHES, CROWD GROANS]
HURL.
[CROWD GROANS]
WHAT A WASTE OF A PERFECTLY GOOD CHILI OMELET.
[GROANING]
LET ME CHECK THE LATEST RATES.
[BEEPS]
Dobbs: THAT'S $3.00 FOR NUMBER ONE,
AND $5.00 FOR NUMBER TWO.
I HAVE A BLADDER PROBLEM.
SORRY TO HEAR IT.
McGinty: KEEBLE. GET OFF ME!
I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THAT DISPLAY.
EXCUSE ME. NEW CUSTOMERS.
Dobbs: CAN I HELP YOU, GENTLEMEN?
NO THANKS. KEEBLE, SHUT UP.
YUCCH.
HOW MUCH FOR A SWIRLIE?
TAKE STALL NUMBER 4.
NO, NO. COME ON, TROY.
NO CHARGE. THANKS, MAN.
[GRUNTS] CAN WE TALK ABOUT THIS, RIGHT?
I'M GONNA GET MY HAIR WET.
COME ON, TROY!
OW! COME ON! [FLUSHING]
WATER.
A RECURRING GEOGRAPHICAL FEATURE WHICH ALLOWS
A CIVILIZED SOCIETY TO DEVELOP.
FOR EXAMPLE, RIVERS, SPRINGS...
MR. KEEBLE?
YOU'RE TARDY, AND YOU'RE DRIPPING.
I HAVE RULES AGAINST BOTH.
NOW, CLASS, ANOTHER FEATURE WHICH ALLOWS
A CIVILIZED SOCIETY TO DEVELOP IS A CODE OF RULES.
WITHOUT RULES, SOCIETY WOULD COMPLETELY COLLAPSE.
DO YOU AGREE WITH THAT STATEMENT, MR. KEEBLE?
I GUESS SO.
I GUESS YOU'LL WRITE ME A 2,000-WORD ESSAY
ON THE SUBJECT.
[MURMURING AND LAUGHING]
[GASPS] THAT'S NOT FAIR!
WHICH I WILL LOOK FORWARD TO SEEING ON MY DESK
DRIP-DRY FRIDAY!
THIS FRIDAY?
THIS FRIDAY!
[IDEA BELL JINGLES]
Max: WAIT.
FRIDAY WAS THE DAY I WAS MOVING,
AND THIS TEACHER WAS MEAN.
SHE LET DOBBS STEAL MY MONEY.
SHE WANTED TO PUNISH ME WHEN IT WASN'T MY FAULT.
BUT IF I WASN'T GONNA BE HERE,
WHAT COULD SHE REALLY DO TO ME, RIGHT?
IT WAS TIME TO TAKE A STAND.
HOW COME I CAN'T DO THE ESSAY
RIGHT NOW?
NOW, CLASS...
[GASPS]
MMM. THAT'S GOOD.
[APPLE BANGS, KIDS LAUGH]
Max: A CIVILIZED SOCIETY
DOES NEED A SET OF RULES.
OTHERWISE, PEOPLE COULD DO THIS.
OOPS. [GASPS]
DID I SAY 2,000 WORDS? MAKE THAT 4,000!
OR...THIS.
[CLASS GASPING]
MAKE THAT 8,000 WORDS, AND TAKE YOUR SEAT NOW!
8,000 WORDS? THAT'S KID STUFF.
HOW 'BOUT 12,000 WORDS?
DO I HEAR 12,000 WORDS, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN?
Together: 12,000 WORDS!
SOLD! 12,000 WORDS!
GET OFF MY DESK!
OKEE-DAY.
Mrs. Talia: OHHH.
YOU'RE IN SERIOUS TROUBLE, MR. KEEBLE.
[KIDS LAUGH]
♪ YEAH ♪
SEE YA.
HELLO, SWEETHEART.
Max: NO CONSEQUENCES.
I COULD DO ANYTHING I WANTED.
EXCUSE ME.
WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?
IF YOU'RE EVER IN THE WINDY CITY,
LOOK ME UP.
Max: AND NOW, ALL THE PEOPLE WHO HAD TRIED TO RUN US DOWN,
MESS US UP,
PUSH US AROUND,
WERE IN FOR A LITTLE SURPRISE.
TOLD YOU IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN SOONER OR LATER.
DIDN'T I? YES, I DID. YES, I DID.
♪ WAIT, SEE ♪
♪ I DO WHATEVER MOVES ME ♪
I'M CLOSING DOWN THE SHELTER.
Ms. Dingman: PHEROMONES-- NATURE'S DATING SERVICE.
I KEEP MY MONEY IN A PIGGY BANK.
IT JUST LOOKS LIKE YOU.
Max: AFTER ALL,
I HAD TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THE BOYS.
ALL I NEEDED WAS A LITTLE BIT OF HELP.
Max: BECAUSE I'M OUTTA HERE IN 2 DAYS.
DON'T YOU SEE?
THIS ISN'T JUST A PLAN.
IT'S--IT'S A PLANETARIUM.
LOOK, I'M GONNA BE THE ONE THEY COME AFTER,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA BE HERE,
AND THAT--THAT IS THE BEAUTY OF IT.
I MEAN, YOU GUYS WON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I'M UP TO.
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS HELP ME OUT.
AND WE'LL HAVE-- WHAT DO YOU CALL IT?
PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY.
YEAH, DID YOU JUST MAKE THAT UP?
SO WE ALL DOWN FOR THE CAUSE?
ONE QUESTION.
CAN'T WE JUST HAVE A GOING-AWAY PARTY INSTEAD?
WE WILL, A HUGE BLOWOUT,
WHEN THIS IS OVER.
SO?
[GIRL SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
MARCHING CALL!
[MOANING]
[SONG PLAYS, INDISTINCT LYRICS]
[GRUNTS]
LOOKS LIKE SOMEBODY FROZE YOUR ASSETS, MAN.
LET'S SEE WHAT WE CAN DO ABOUT THAT.
HEY!
STEP OFF, CAPITALIST TOOL.
Dobbs: MAN, WHY DON'T YOU GO GET A REAL JOB, FOOL?
Dobbs: MAN, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU,
THEIR LUNCH MONEY IS MINE, VENDOR.
[GASPS]
[INHALES]
[GROWLS]
HA HA HA.
YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.
TRADING HOURS ARE OVER.
[GRUNTING]
AAH--OHH!
HELLO, VLADIMIR.
AAH!
♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME WITH YOUR-- ♪
HMM.
♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
♪ MacGOOGLE-- ♪
♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME ♪
♪ WITH YOUR FAVORITE HIGHLAND-- ♪
♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
♪ IT'S TIME TO PLAY A GAME ♪
♪ WITH YOUR FAVORITE HIGHLAND FROG ♪
THE CITIZENS OF CURTIS JUNIOR HIGH
THAT WE ARE NOW T-MINUS...SEVERAL HOURS
UNTIL THE SUPERINTENDENT KNEBWORTH VISIT.
THAT IS ALL.
THANK YOU.
[RUSTLING AND RATTLING]
[CHUCKLING]
[STUDENTS LAUGH]
I'M A WALRUS, HEY.
[LAUGHS]
THE CAMERA'S STILL ON!
[ALL LAUGHING]
[BELL RINGS]
OK.
I'M OK.
SORRY.
I KNOW.
IT'S JUST THAT WE HAVE TO BE
VERY CAREFUL WITH THE LAB EQUIPMENT.
OUR BUDGET IS VERY TIGHT...
THANKS TO THE NEW FOOTBALL PROGRAM.
45 CENTS. COOL.
LET'S CHECK MY GROSSES TODAY.
WHERE'S MY HANDHELD?
HEY, MISTER, MY FUDGESICLE'S MELTING!
Ice Cream Man: OH, IT'S SUPPOSED TO BE MELTING.
PEOPLE PAY EXTRA FOR THAT.
NOW, BEAT IT!
ALL OF YOU, BEAT IT!
I WANT MY MONEY BACK!
Max: THE HEAT IS ON!
FARTKNOCKER!
EVIL ICE CREAM MAN'S GOING DOWN.
HOW GREAT.
I SURE AM GONNA MISS YOU GUYS.
WELL, I GUESS YOU'LL MAKE NEW FRIENDS IN CHICAGO.
RIGHT, MAX?
I--I GUESS SO. I DON'T KNOW.
I NEVER REALLY THOUGHT ABOUT IT.
Robe: HEY, MAYBE YOU'LL MEET KIDS
EXACTLY LIKE US IN EVERY WAY.
YOU KNOW, LIKE CLONES.
[CHUCKLES]
YEAH. MAYBE I WILL.
Megan: WELL, THERE'S STILL YOUR GOING-AWAY PARTY.
THERE'S GONNA BE A CAKE AND EVERYTHING.
I BAKED IT.
Robe: YEAH, DON'T FORGET.
TOMORROW, 4:00, HOUSE OF ROBE.
I'M PROVIDING THE ICE CREAM.
[CHUCKLES]
Ice Cream Man: WHAT'S GOING ON?!
IT'S MELTING!
HEY, MAX?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
[BEEPS] STUFF.
GETTING READY FOR THE BIG MOVE
KIND OF STUFF?
MM-HMM.
I'M SORRY WE SPRUNG THIS ON YOU, MAX,
BUT IT WAS SORT OF SPRUNG ON ME THE SAME WAY.
UH-HUH.
OK. TSK.
WHAT IF I DIDN'T TAKE THE JOB?
WHAT THEN? A HOME,
THE FOOD WE EAT, THE CLOTHES YOU WEAR--
THAT TAKES A LOT OF MONEY.
I JUST CAN'T SEE WHY WE CAN'T STAY.
WELL...
SOMETIMES IN LIFE,
YOU GOTTA DO THINGS THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO
BECAUSE OTHER PEOPLE WHO HAVE POWER OVER YOU
TELL YOU TO DO THEM.
NO, DAD, I MEAN, IF YOU RISE UP
AND--AND--AND SHOW THAT YOU'RE NOT AFRAID,
THOSE PEOPLE
WILL NO LONGER HAVE CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE.
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE WITH MAX?
WHO ARE YOU? REALLY?
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
GOOD NIGHT, KIDDO.
SEE YA.
[BEEPS]
UNHH.
[OBJECT CLATTERING]
OHH.
[PANTS]
[KEYS JINGLING]
[GRUNTS] NO.
[FLATULENT NOISE]
[CLICKING]
THE WINDOW WAS OPEN.
[SIGHS]
Robe: WHOA! [CRASH]
Together: ROBE.
THE COMPUTER.
I'LL GET THE BREATH SPRAY.
[BEEP] NATURE'S DATING SERVICE.
[TYPING ON KEYBOARD]
[BEEPING]
Megan: WHOA.
WHAT? CHECK IT OUT.
JINDRAIKE'S USING ALL THE SCHOOL'S MONEY
TO BUILD HIS STUPID FOOTBALL STADIUM.
WE CAN'T LET HIM GET AWAY WITH THAT.
NOW HIS BREATH'LL BE PHEROMONE FRESH.
[THUMPS, PANTS]
OH, YEAH, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME. I'M FINE.
[WHISPERS] Here you go.
AND NOW WE ADD A LITTLE DECORATION.
WHOA!
COME ON, LET'S GET OUT OF HERE.
[GRUNTS] OW! OW!
ROBE! COME ON, MAN!
LET'S GO!
YEAH, I'M TRYING.
Max: MORNING, MOM.
Lily: HI, SWEETIE.
WHATCHA DOING?
YOU KNOW, YOU JUST START OUT
BY TRYING TO PACK EVERYTHING REALLY FAST,
AND THEN YOU GET CAUGHT UP
IN ALL THIS OLD STUFF.
[SIGHS] REMEMBER HOW THE KITCHEN LOOKED
WHEN WE FIRST MOVED IN?
BEFORE IT WAS PERFECT?
[CHUCKLES]
NOT REALLY. I WAS 4.
[LAUGHS] RIGHT. MMM.
[SIGHS]
SORRY ABOUT THE SHORT NOTICE, MAX.
YOU HAVING TO LEAVE YOUR FRIENDS AND EVERYTHING.
AH, IT'S OK.
YOU KNOW, AT FIRST, I WAS REALLY BUMMED OUT,
BUT NOT EVERYTHING'S BAD ABOUT MOVING.
THAT'S WHAT YOUR FATHER KEEPS SAYING.
I HOPE YOU'RE BOTH RIGHT.
[CHUCKLES]
[SONG PLAYS, LYRICS INDISTINCT]
[CROWD GASPS]
All: TROY McGINTY?
HOW 'BOUT THAT?
OK, NO, I WON'T DO THAT ANYMORE.
I--I PROMISE. I PROMISE.
OHH. I LIED. SORRY.
[LIGHT SWITCHES ECHO]
[DOOR OPENS]
♪ MacGOOGLES IS ME NAME ♪
♪ I LIKE A SWAMPY BOG ♪
NO.
♪ WITH YOUR FAVORITE HIGHLAND FROG ♪
NO.
[SINGING]
NO, NOT YOU.
YOU'RE NOT EVEN REAL!
GET AWAY FROM ME!
AAAH!
MORE COMMEMORATIVE RED, WHITE, AND BLUE STREAMERS.
CRAZY LEGS KNEBWORTH. WHAT A CHAMPION HE WAS.
[DOOR CLOSES]
[HORN HONKS]
COME ON, YOU IDIOT.
[SPRAYS]
[NEIGHS]
[BLEATING]
[ANIMAL NOISES]
[ANIMALS QUIET]
HE'S COMING!
STRAIGHTEN UP. STRAIGHTEN UP.
BETTER. READY?
AND...
[PLAYING]
AAH!
Jindraike: AT LAST! AT LAST!
THE MOMENT WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
AH HA HA HA HA.
CRAZY LEGS. YOU LOOK FIT.
ELLIOT. IT'S BEEN TOO LONG.
I AGREE COMPLETELY.
SLIP ME THAT BISCUIT. OOH, THAT'S A HOT ONE.
SMILE.
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
Max: OK. THE REASON JINDRAIKE HAS A NEW FOOTBALL PROGRAM
IS TO IMPRESS THIS GUY-- SUPERINTENDENT KNEBWORTH.
YOU SEE, JINDRAIKE WANTS HIS JOB SO BAD,
HE'D EAT HIS SOCKS.
HOW IT SADDENS ME
TO THINK OF YOUR RETIREMENT, CRAZY LEGS.
WHAT AN INSPIRATION YOU'VE BEEN TO US ALL.
IN FACT, I'VE COLLECTED SOME MEMENTOS
FROM YOUR GLORY DAYS.
WELL.
REMEMBER THIS?
EWW!
IT'S YOUR CHAMPIONSHIP JOCKSTRAP.
WE WASHED IT. HA HA.
[SNIFFS] WASH IT AGAIN.
WHAT'S THIS?
ALLOW ME TO PRESENT...
KNEBWORTH STADIUM.
[CROWD CHEERS, BAND PLAYS]
Knebworth: KNEBWORTH STADIUM.
HOW CAN YOU AFFORD TO DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS?
I DIDN'T APPROVE ANY CAPITAL EXPENDITURES
FOR CURTIS.
THE USUAL-- BAKE SALES, CAR WASHES,
AND CUTTING BACK
ON A FEW NON-ESSENTIAL ITEMS HELPS, TOO.
FIRE EXTINGUISHERS, MILK...
EXCUSE ME?
MOVING ALONG--
HAVE YOU SEEN THE TOILETS?
NO COMPLAINTS, NO COMPLAINTS.
I NEED 5 LAPS TO--
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S WEIRD.
WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?
[McGINTY MOANS]
[SHIVERING]
Boy: HEY, CHECK IT OUT. IT'S McGINTY!
[ALL LAUGHING]
WHAT THE--
HEY, BREAK IT UP. BREAK IT UP.
McGINTY.
[QUAVERING] HE'S...
GONNA EAT ME.
WHAT?
MacGOOGLES.
[SHUTTER CLICKS]
"LOOK WHO'S CRYING NOW."
WOULD YOU GUYS GET OUT OF HERE?
SO THE SECOND TEACHER SAYS, "I AGREE.
THAT'S WHY THEY CALL IT A LOUNGE." HA.
[SPRAYS]
[DOG BARKS, CAT MEOWS]
[SCREECHING]
[CHATTERS]
WELL, HERE WE ARE
IN THE CURTIS JUNIOR HIGH LIBRARY.
HMM. SMALLISH.
YES, BUT WE'RE BIGGISH ON BOOKS.
ESPECIALLY SPORTS BOOKS.
[CHUCKLES] HMM.
OF COURSE, THE ONE WE'RE WAITING FOR IS CRAZY LEGS--
THE BOBBY KNEBWORTH STORY.
[SIGHS]
[SQUIRREL CHATTERS]
[SQUEAKS]
OHH! OOH! OH!
[YELLS]
[SQUIRREL CHATTERING]
[STAMMERING]
OHH!
DIDN'T I ORDER NEW COMPUTER WORKSTATIONS THIS YEAR?
[SCREAMS]
[SQUEAKS]
JINDRAIKE?
WE'RE HAVING THEM UPGRADED.
[SQUIRREL CHATTERING]
Knebworth: HMM. OK.
WELL...
IF IT ISN'T MY FAVORITE CUSTOMER.
WHAT CAN I GET YOU, PLUMP DADDY?
WHAT'S THIS?
WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?
[BEEPS]
[READING]
SOMEBODY'S MESSING WITH ME.
HEY, CAN I TRY THE SOUP?
EVERYTHING SET?
I GUESS SO, BUT I STILL DON'T SEE
HOW THIS IS GONNA HELP SAVE THE ANIMAL SHELTER.
IT'S ALL PART OF THE PLAN.
MAX...
WHAT?
[INHALES] I DON'T KNOW.
[UTENSIL CLATTERS]
I'D JUST RATHER SPEND OUR LAST DAY
HANGING OUT THAN DOING ALL THIS SPY STUFF.
UHH! OW! WHAT THE--
BIG OAF.
[PANTING] THEY'RE COMING!
RIGHT ON SCHEDULE.
YOU READY? CHECK.
LUNCH...
IS...
SERVED.
CHECK AND MATE.
AAH! [KIDS LAUGHING]
HA HA HA HA.
WHO THREW THAT?
[CHUCKLES]
[INDISTINCT CONVERSATION]
HA HA HA HA HA!
Sugar Ray: ♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
FOOD FIGHT!
♪ AIM FOR ME, HIT IT ♪
♪ IT'S A GREAT BIG WORLD ♪
♪ NOTHING ♪
♪ DON'T BELIEVE IN NOTHING ANYWAY ♪
♪ STILL GOT A LOT TO LEARN ♪
♪ BUT WE STARTED OUT WITH NOTHING ♪
♪ WITH MY FRIENDS WE'RE GOING ON OUR WAY ♪
STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!
♪ YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE ♪
OH! I SAW THAT, YOUNG MAN!
AAH!
I'M TAKING NAMES!
♪ THAT'S OK, WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE ♪
♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
AAH!
♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
♪ THEY'LL TRY TO COUNT YOU OUT ♪
♪ BUT YOU GOTTA COUNT YOURSELF IN ♪
IF I GET MY SHIRT DIRTY, MY MOM'S GONNA KILL ME!
♪ NOT SAYING THAT I'M RIGHT ♪
♪ SEE THE TROUBLE THAT WE'VE BEEN IN ♪
"JELL-O HELLO."
NO. "CAFETERIA HYSTERIA."
♪ WHEN IT'S SAID AND DONE ♪
♪ AND YOU'VE GOT US ON THE RUN ♪
♪ THAT'S OK, WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE ♪
AAH!
♪ SOME PEOPLE CHANGE ♪
YOU'RE ALL SUSPENDED!
♪ YOU'RE SO FAR FROM HOME ♪
♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
HA HA HA HA HA!
♪ AIM FOR ME, AIM FOR ME ♪
♪ AIM FOR ME, AAAH ♪
AAAH!
AAH!
WHAT THE--
OHH!
THAT'S IT!
ROBE DID IT! AAH!
[LAUGHING]
AAH! [SHRIEKS]
[LAUGHS]
♪ SOME PEOPLE CHANGE, AND YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE ♪
♪ EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SO FAR FROM HOME ♪
♪ WHEN IT'S SAID AND DONE ♪
OHH! AAH!
NOT HAVING FUN! OW!
AAH!
AND NOW,
ONTO THE PIECE DE RESISTANCE.
THE JEWEL IN THE CROWN OF CURTIS.
THE CAFETERIA.
[WHOOPING AND YELLING]
Robe: IT'S MUSTARD!
YOU CAN'T KETCHUP, 'CAUSE IT'S MUSTARD!
YEAH!
♪ SOME PEOPLE CHANGE, AND YOUR LIFE WILL REARRANGE ♪
♪ EVEN WHEN YOU'RE SO FAR FROM HOME ♪
PLEASE BELIEVE ME WHEN I TELL YOU,
THIS IS MY GIFT TO YOU.
♪ THAT'S OK, WE'LL NEVER COME UNDONE ♪
♪ AIM FOR ME ♪
CEASE!
[MOTOR SPUTTERS, DIES]
SIR, I ASSURE YOU, THIS BEHAVIOR
IS UTTERLY WITHOUT PRECEDENT.
PLUS, IT NEVER HAPPENED BEFORE.
WHO? WHO STARTED THIS?
Jindraike: IF THE CULPRIT DOES NOT STEP FORWARD
THIS INSTANT,
SWIFT AND HORRIBLE RETRIBUTION
AWAITS EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
AAH!
[STUDENTS LAUGH WHILE MONKEY SCREECHES]
[GROANING AND COUGHING]
[SIGHS]
THIS PLACE IS NUTS.
CRAZY LEGS!
WAIT!
UHH! [DOOR SLAMS SHUT]
[STUDENTS TALKING AND LAUGHING]
PBBBT!
THAT'S WHAT I DO. THAT'S WHAT I DO.
THIS CAN'T HAPPEN TO ME.
YOU KNOW WHAT THEY'RE CALLING ME OUT THERE?
THE MacGOOGLER.
TROY, EASY. NOW, I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU THROUGH
A CHILDHOOD REGRESSION PROCESS.
IT MAY BRING UP SOME UNPLEASANT MEMORIES,
BUT I THINK YOU'LL FIND IT HELPFUL IN THE END.
ALL RIGHTY?
MM-HMM.
NOW, GIVE MR. MacGOOGLES A HUG.
AAH! AAH! HE'S GONNA EAT ME!
[WHIMPERING]
WE'VE GOT SOME WORK TO DO.
I WANT MY COIL.
I WANT MY HANDHELD!
WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?
I SAID "I WANT MY HANDHELD."
YOU WANT YOUR HANDHELD?
YEAH. YOU HEARD ME.
I SAID, "I WANT MY HANDHELD."
YOU WANT ME TO HOLD YOUR HAND?
NO!
NEED SOMEBODY TO HOLD HIS HAND. LITTLE BABY.
LITTLE--
GIVE ME THE COIL!
OH, THIS? HUH? HUH?
UHH!
NO!
OH!
[INDISTINCT OVERLAPPING YELLING]
HUH?
AAH! AAH!
YEEHAW!
MEH-MEH-MEH, MEH-MEH-MEH.
GOOD, TROY! NOW...
CAN YOU HELP ME FIND A LINK
BETWEEN MacGOOGLES AND YOUR FEARS?
WAS IT SOMETHING FROM YOUR PAST
OR SOMEBODY?
KEEBLE!
KEEBLE.
HEY, MAX.
HI, JENNA.
DO YOU WANT TO HANG OUT?
I'M MEETING SOME FRIENDS AT BUDDIES.
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I ACTUALLY GOTTA KINDA BE SOMEWHERE.
OH, COME ON. STAY FOR ONE MILK SHAKE.
IT'LL BE FUN.
WELL...
ONE MILK SHAKE.
YOU KNOW WHAT? OK. ALL RIGHT.
ONE... MILK SHAKE.
♪ HIT ME BABY, ONE MORE TIME ♪
[CHANTING "KEEBLE"]
[CHEERING]
[BELCHES]
HA HA HA!
SO, YOU ACTUALLY DID SET UP
THAT WHOLE MONKEY THING
AT THE CAFETERIA?
WELL, ACTUALLY, TAD IS A CHIMPANZEE.
YOU'RE SO DEVIOUS.
WELL, IT'S REALLY PART OF MY WHOLE NEW ATTITUDE--
WHAT I LIKE TO CALL MY PHAT-ITUDE.
YO! DON'T CROWD THE MAN, DUDE.
HE HAS PHAT-ITUDE. GIT!
[INHALES]
[POP]
I WONDER WHERE MAX IS?
[HIGH-PITCHED] DON'T WORRY. HE'LL BE HERE.
[SPRAYS]
♪ SCHOOL IS OUT, LET'S ENJOY THE HEAT ♪
♪ IT'S ALL YOU NOW, DO IT LIKE YOU'RE PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS ♪
♪ DESTROYED RIGHT HERE FOR YOU TO MAKIN' IT CHEAP ♪
♪ OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL, COME ON, WIGGLE WITH ME ♪
♪ JUMP AND SLIDE ♪
♪ NOW DIP, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ NOW JUMP AND SLIDE ♪
♪ NOW DIP, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT IT, AHH ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT, BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
Max: MEGAN, WAIT!
♪ YOU WANT IT, YOU GOT IT, AHH ♪
DON'T WORRY ABOUT US. JUST GO BACK TO YOUR PARTY.
IT'S NOT A PARTY. I WAS JUST--
I WAS JUST COMING TO SEE YOU GUYS.
WHATEVER.
I GUESS WE'RE JUST NOT COOL ENOUGH FOR YOU.
DON'T SAY THAT.
BUT MEGAN--SHE LIKES YOU.
SHE REALLY LIKES YOU.
ROBE, WAIT.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I'VE BEEN WAITING.
NOW I'M GOIN' HOME.
HAVE A NICE LIFE IN CHICAGO.
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
WELL, CAN YOU TELL HER THAT I CALLED?
Megan's mom: SURE.
AND THAT I'M REALLY, REALLY SORRY.
I'LL TELL HER, MAX.
THANKS.
AND DON'T FORGET THE SORRY PART PLEASE.
I WON'T.
THANK YOU. BYE.
HEY, CHAMP. YOU SEEN YOUR MOM?
HEY, HONEY, CAN YOU COME HERE QUICK?
I GOT BIG NEWS.
WHAT'S UP?
GUESS WHAT?
WE'RE NOT MOVING.
[CRASH]
WE'RE NOT?
UH-UH. I FINALLY GAVE FOGE SOME OF HIS OWN MEDICINE.
Lily: YOU FOGED FOGE?
Don: YEAH. I QUIT. WE'RE GONNA STAY HERE.
I'M GONNA START MY OWN BUSINESS.
Lily: OH, SWEETIE!
NOW YOU'RE GONNA BE THE BIG CHEESE!
HA HA! HA HA!
NOT ANYMORE!
WAIT! WE'RE NOT MOVING?
UH-UH.
OH, LOOK AT HIM.
HE'S SO HAPPY, HE CAN'T SPEAK!
HA HA HA!
Don: HEY, HONEY, CAN YOU HELP ME GET THIS OFF?
I SURE CAN!
YOU KNOW, I CAN'T GET IT OVER MY HEAD WITH THE GLOVES.
T WAS I GONNA DO? I HAD TO GET OUT OF THIS.
MAX, THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.
I FINALLY GET TO BE MY OWN BOSS.
BUT, DAD, WHAT ABOUT YOUR RESPONSIBILITIES--
THE HOUSE, THE FOOD, MY CLOTHES?
WHAT ABOUT MY CLOTHES? DO YOU WANT TO WEAR RAGS?
MAX, I OWE IT ALL TO YOU.
YOU'RE THE ONE THAT HELPED ME REALIZE
FOGE WAS NOTHING BUT A BULLY.
IF IT WASN'T FOR YOU, I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD
THE COURAGE TO STAND UP TO HIM.
I'M JUST A KID! WHAT DO I KNOW?
YOU OK? YOU SEEM A LITTLE JUMPY.
YES! YEAH.
YOU SURE? YEAH. I'M COOL.
SO, SEE YOU TONIGHT.
UH, YEAH. YEAH.
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
MAYBE.
Max: MAYBE?
WHO WAS I KIDDING?
I WAS GRADE-A DEAD MEAT, AND I KNEW IT.
WHAT I DIDN'T KNOW
IS THAT I'VE LEFT MY FRIENDS IN THE SAME BOAT.
IT'S GONNA BE A LONG YEAR FOR YOU, SLIM.
I'M GONNA POUND YOU EVERY DAY.
AND ALL THANKS TO YOUR GOOD FRIEND KEEBLE.
CATCH YOU AROUND, HUH?
GREAT.
LET'S JUST ROUND IT OFF TO ALL YOUR MONEY FOREVER.
FROM HERE ON IN, YOU WORK FOR ME.
HEH HEH! YEAH.
Max: IN FACT, THE ENTIRE SCHOOL WAS GOING TO SUFFER
BECAUSE OF ME.
OH, STOP SMILING. THIS IS NOT A HAPPY PLACE.
[CRASH]
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
[RING]
FIND MAX KEEBLE. I'D LIKE TO SPEAK TO HIM AT ONCE.
YOU BETTER BOOK A FLIGHT.
WHAT?
MAX KEEBLE MOVED TO CHICAGO.
I JUST FORWARDED HIS FILE.
[SCREAMING, BREAKING GLASS, AND CAT YOWLING]
MRS. RANGOON, A MOMENT OF YOUR TIME, PLEASE.
SOMEONE'S GOT SOMETHING IMPORTANT
TO SAY TO THE STUDENTS.
SOMEONE'S GOT SOMETHING VERY IMPORTANT
TO SAY TO THE STUDENTS, AND DO YOU KNOW
WHO THAT SOMEONE IS, MRS. RANGOON?
IT'S ME, MRS. RANGOON.
HMM. YEAH.
AND WAIT TILL THEY HEAR IT.
Jindraike on P.A.: ATTENTION, STUDENTS.
[LAUGHTER]
BECAUSE OF YESTERDAY'S CRIMES AGAINST THE SCHOOL,
INSTIGATED BY YOUR FORMER CLASSMATE MAX KEEBLE,
THE FOLLOWING EXTRACURRICULAR ACTIVITIES
ARE NOW SUSPENDED--
ART, MUSIC, P.E.,
FUN!
SUSPENDED, DISCONTINUED, DEFUNCT!
GREAT. YOUR BOYFRIEND MAX KEEBLE
JUST GOT US HOSED.
HE'S JUST MY PAPERBOY.
HMM. I NEVER REALLY LIKED HIM.
[THUD]
[LAUGHTER]
KEEBLE!
OK. TODAY, CLASS, WE'RE GOING TO REVIEW
SOME OF THE ELEMENTS OF GRAMMAR.
McGINTY SAYS HE'S GONNA POUND ME
EVERY DAY FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE.
DOBBS SAYS I HAVE TO GIVE HIM ALL OF MY MONEY...
FOREVER.
SOME PLAUSIBLE DENIABILITY.
HI. DO YOU MIND IF I HANG HERE FOR A WHILE,
BECAUSE THERE'S SOME PEOPLE AFTER ME.
I DID SOME STUFF.
YEAH. YOU PROBABLY...
YEAH. I'M REALLY SORRY ABOUT THE CAFETERIA.
BUT JINDRAIKE HAS NO RIGHT
TO DO WHAT HE'S DOING, AND NOW
MY FRIENDS ARE GONNA GET WAILED ON BECAUSE OF ME,
AND I CAN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.
ANY KID CAN MAKE A MESS.
TAKES A MAN TO CLEAN IT UP.
Max: IT TOOK A MAN WITH A PLUNGER
TO MAKE ME REALIZE THAT I HAD TO DO SOMETHING.
I THOUGHT I'D STOOD UP TO THE BULLIES,
BUT ALL I'D REALLY DONE WAS HIT AND RUN.
THAT'S NOT COURAGE. THAT'S EX-COURAGE.
AS YOU KNOW, VERBS ARE WORDS THAT DESCRIBE ACTIONS,
SO WHO CAN NAME A FEW?
BETRAY, DECEIVE, LIE.
Robe: HOW ABOUT BURN,
SCREW OVER, STAB IN THE BACK?
HEH! UH-HUH.
ATTENTION STUDENTS, THIS IS MAX KEEBLE SPEAKING.
FIRST I'D LIKE TO SAY TO MY FRIENDS MEGAN AND ROBE
THAT I KNOW THAT I ACTED LIKE A JERK,
AND I'M SORRY
FOR EVER GETTING YOU INVOLVED IN THIS.
I SCREWED UP, BUT YOU GUYS ARE MY BEST FRIENDS,
AND THAT'S FOREVER.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY, BUT I'M SORRY.
IT PROBABLY DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU ANYMORE,
BUT I'M NOT MOVING.
KEEBLE!
AND McGINTY AND DOBBS,
IT'S ME YOU WANT, SO LEAVE MY FRIENDS ALONE.
I MAY HAVE RUN BEFORE, BUT I AM ALL THROUGH RUNNING NOW.
YOU WANT ME, I'LL BE IN THE PARKING LOT, 3:00.
CUT!
END OF BROADCAST!
THAT IS ALL. THANK YOU.
AH!
HELLO, MAX. GOOD TO SEE YOU.
GLAD YOU COULD MAKE IT. PLEASE, HAVE A SEAT.
ANYTHING I CAN GET FOR YOU? SPARKLING WATER? SODA?
NO? OK.
YOU'VE ACTED LIKE A CRIMINAL,
SO I'M GOING TO TREAT YOU LIKE A CRIMINAL.
I'M NOT A CRIMINAL.
PEOPLE WHO DO CRIMES ARE CRIMINALS, LIKE YOU.
YOU SHOULD BE CAREFUL BEFORE SLANDERING
YOUR PRINCIPAL'S SPOTLESS REPUTATION
WITH WILD AND GROUNDLESS CLAIMS.
THEY'RE NOT GROUNDLESS, THEY'RE GROUND-FULL.
GROUND-FULL?
LOOK IT UP!
I SAW IT ON THE SCREEN.
YOU HAVE BEEN STEALING FROM ALL THE SCHOOL BUDGETS
TO FUND YOUR STUPID FOOTBALL STUFF.
SAW IT ON THE SCREEN, DID YOU?
YEAH, AND IT'S TRUE.
YOU'RE A SMART LITTLE BOY...
BUT SO AM I!
SO I FIDDLED WITH THE BUDGET.
FIDDLESTICKS. IT'S MY BUDGET.
SO WE HAVE FEWER TEXTBOOKS. BIG DEAL.
TEXTBOOKS ARE FOR NERDS.
FEWER BAND INSTRUMENTS-- WHO CARES?
BAND IS FOR LOSERS.
COME ON! OH!
SO THE JANITOR HAS TO WORK OVERTIME FOR NO PAY.
HE SHOULD PAY ME FOR THE PRIVILEGE!
[CRASH]
NOW, LET ME DESCRIBE YOUR NEXT 24 HOURS.
I'M GOING TO METE OUT A PUNISHMENT TO YOU
THAT IS SO SEVERE, FUTURE GENERATIONS
WILL REFER TO IT AS "THE KEEBLE."
THEY WILL BEG ON BENDED KNEE--
"OH, PLEASE, SIR. NOT THE KEEBLE, SIR.
"I SWEAR I'LL NEVER MISBEHAVE AGAIN
IF YOU'LL JUST SPARE ME...THE KEEBLE."
AND SPARE THEM I SHALL, MAX,
FOR I AM A MERCIFUL MAN.
YOUR TRANSGRESSIONS ARE SO IMMENSE
THAT I WOULD BE DELINQUENT--
[BEEPING]
Jindraike: MY BULLDOZER!
OH, GOODY.
OH, THAT'S RIGHT! YOU DON'T KNOW!
YOU THOUGHT YOU SAVED THE ANIMAL SHELTER.
IT WOULD APPEAR--NOT!
NOW STAY THERE!
DON'T GO AWAY.
UHH!
HMM.
[HUMMING]
UHH!
[SCHOOL BELL RINGS]
[STUDENTS TALKING]
WHAT DO YOU THINK JINDRAIKE'LL DO TO HIM?
WHAT DO YOU THINK
McGINTY AND DOBBS'LL DO TO HIM?
♪ WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE ♪
MAYBE THEY'LL JUST FORGET THE WHOLE THING.
♪ EVIL TROUBLE ♪
♪ WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE ♪
OR MAYBE THEY'LL RIP HIS HEAD OFF.
WE'VE GOT TO DO SOMETHING.
COME ON.
♪ WE GOT EVIL TROUBLE ♪
GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. DOBBS.
ALWAYS A PLEASURE, McGINTY.
THIS IS GONNA BE EPIC.
"KEEBLE CANCELED."
HERE'S JINNY.
KEEBLE?
KEEBLE!
[LOCK CLICKS]
[GIGGLES]
SACRILEGE!
OPEN THIS DOOR IMMEDIATELY!
[RATTLE]
CAGED LIKE AN ANIMAL.
IRONIC.
AAH!
[THUD]
OW!
SO, UH... IS MY WATCH RUNNING FAST,
OR IS OUR KEEBLE FRIEND RUNNING SCARED?
SOMEBODY LOOKING FOR ME?
KEEBLE, WELCOME TO OUR PARKING LOT OF PAIN.
HA HA HA! HA HA HA!
[GROANING]
[BANGING]
YOU KNOW HOW DOCTORS SAY,
"THIS ISN'T GONNA HURT A BIT"?
WELL, I'M NOT A DOCTOR,
AND NEITHER IS McGINTY HERE.
HE'S RIGHT. I'M NOT A DOCTOR.
YEAH!
OH, YOU KNOW, THAT'S TOO BAD,
'CAUSE YOU'RE GONNA NEED ONE.
UHH!
HOLD HIM!
LET HIM GO!
MEGAN, I'M HANDLING THIS!
SO AM I.
HA HA HA!
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO ABOUT IT, HUH?
THIS. [PLAYS BEGINNING TO WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT]
McGinty: OH.
OK.
[BAND PLAYING WE'RE NOT GONNA TAKE IT]
HA HA HA HA!
[BAND FINISHES SONG]
[SARCASTIC] I'M SO SCARED.
YOU SHOULD BE.
WE'RE TAKING BACK OUR SCHOOL.
YEAH. NO MORE BEING PUSHED AROUND.
NO MORE BEING STEPPED ON.
NO MORE MR. NOT-NICE GUY.
YOUR REIGN OF TERROR OVER THE STUDENT BODY
HAS COME TO AN ABRUPT HALT.
WHAT? WHAT?
YES, PLEASE.
FROM NOW ON, YOU HAVE TO PAY US
TO USE THE RESTROOM.
WE'RE PULLING YOUR PLUG!
THROW 'EM IN THE DUMPSTER!
SWIRLIE! YEAH!
GET 'EM!
[YELLING] NO!
[CLATTER]
AHA! AHA! AH!
[GRUNTING]
[YELLING]
IT WAS ALL HIS IDEA! IT WAS HIS IDEA!
PUT ME DOWN!
WAIT!
WHAT ARE WE DOING?!
GETTING REVENGE ON THE BULLIES.
BUT THAT MAKES US THE SAME AS THEM.
DON'T YOU SEE?
I MEAN, I WENT ABOUT ALL THIS THE WRONG WAY.
WE ARE NO BETTER THAN THE BULLIES
IF WE DO EXACTLY WHAT THE BULLIES DO.
I MEAN, WE ALL-- WE NEED TO STAND TOGETHER
AND MAKE OUR SCHOOL A BETTER PLACE FOR EVERYONE!
FOR YOU AND YOU AND YOU AND EVEN YOU, WORRIED KID.
[SOBS]
MAN'S GOT A POINT.
YEAH!
WHAT SHOULD WE DO WITH THEM?
LET 'EM GO.
NO!
[LAUGHTER]
[CHEERING]
HA HA HA!
[SOBBING]
WOW! HOW COOL ARE YOU?
YOU KNOW. JUST--
A BUNCH OF US ARE HAVING A PARTY THIS WEEKEND.
NINTH GRADERS ONLY.
EXCEPT FOR YOU, MAX.
I'M SORRY. I CAN'T COME.
I'M MEETING SOMEBODY.
SHOO SHOO!
[LAUGHS]
WHATEVER.
NICE MOVE, MAX.
YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK NOT MOVING
WAS THE BEST MOVE OF ALL.
IT'S JINDRAIKE!
HE'S HEADING FOR THE ANIMAL SHELTER!
Jindraike: THAT'S IT! RUN!
SCATTER LIKE THE CHILDREN YOU ARE!
KNOCK, KNOCK. ANYBODY HOME?
[CRASH]
[BLEATING]
WHOA!
[THUD]
HUH?
GIDDYAP!
ALL RIGHT! WHO'S FIRST?!
[NEIGHING AND BLEATING]
I KNOW! HOW ABOUT THE SMELLY GOAT?!
BAA!
NOT TODAY, JINDRAIKE.
THAT'S FAR ENOUGH.
ON SECOND THOUGHT, WHY DON'T WE START WITH THE BOY
WHO TRIED TO SAVE THE SMELLY GOAT?
I DO NOT FEAR YOUR DARK POWERS, BALD ONE.
YOUR KUNG FU'S NO GOOD HERE, MAX.
[SPRAYS]
[BARKING AND BLEATING]
OH, WHAT IS THAT--
EEK! EEK! PBBBT! PBBBT!
TRAITOR!
UHH!
HAH!
[BLEATING AND NEIGHING]
AAH!
UHH! UHH!
OOH!
WHOA!
[CHEERING]
CEASE!
HE DID IT!
ALL RIGHT, MAX!
Max: YEP! I DID IT!
[CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
THE ANIMAL SHELTER WAS SAFE,
THE BULLIES WERE COOKED,
AND JINDRAIKE GOT FIRED FOR FIDDLING WITH THE BUDGET.
AS FOR ME AND MY FRIENDS, WELL, WE WERE JUST HAPPY
THAT THE FIRST WEEK OF SCHOOL WAS OVER.
NOW WE COULD CHILL FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR.
[TIRES SQUEAL]
Ice Cream Man: I'LL GET YOU, PAPERBOY!
Max: OH, MAN!
♪ YOU WANT IT, BABY ♪
♪ YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ HUH, YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ ON THE DANCE FLOOR, SHAKIN' IT UP ♪
♪ EVERYBODY GROOVIN', DJ MIXIN' IT UP ♪
♪ WE COME TO PARTY ♪
♪ LET ME SEE YOU MOVE YOUR FEET ♪
♪ GET IT GOIN' GIRL, COME ON, DO IT WITH ME ♪
♪ MOVE YOUR HIPS LIKE THIS, NOW BUMP TO THE BEAT ♪
♪ THIS IS IT, Y'ALL ♪
♪ LET'S TAKE IT BACK TO THE STREET ♪
♪ SCHOOL IS OUT, LET'S ENJOY THE HEAT ♪
♪ IT'S ALL YOU NOW, DO IT LIKE YOU'RE PLAYIN' FOR KEEPS ♪
♪ DESTROYED RIGHT HERE FOR YOU TO MAKIN' IT CHEAP ♪
♪ OLD SCHOOL, NEW SCHOOL, COME ON, WIGGLE WITH ME ♪
♪ IMPORTANT PEOPLE, SOMETHIN' I WANT TO TEACH ♪
♪ DO THE NEW DANCE, IT'S CALLED THE MAX KEEBLE ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ PUT YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR LIKE YOU DON'T CARE ♪
♪ WORKIN', JERKIN', THAT'S IT RIGHT THERE ♪
♪ IF YOU WANT, LET ME SHOW YOU HOW TO DO THAT THERE ♪
♪ THE BEAT WILL SURE MAKE YOU WANT TO MOVE THAT THERE ♪
♪ WAVE YOUR ARMS IN THE AIR LIKE EVERYWHERE ♪
♪ GET CAUGHT, EVERYBODY, LET ME HEAR YOU SAY THAT ♪
♪ COME ON, STEP TO THE SIDE, NOW GO TO THE POLLS ♪
♪ MORE, LITTLE MAMA, KEEP ON YOUR TOES ♪
♪ STOP IN THE STOP OR NOT, IT'S COLD ♪
♪ LET ME GET MY DANCE ON, LET ME TAKE THE FLOOR ♪
♪ TAKE THE FLOOR, TAKE THE FLOOR ♪
♪ GIVE MY NUMBER TO WAIT, I GOT TO GO ♪
♪ NOW JUMP AND SLIDE ♪
♪ NOW DIP, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ NOW JUMP AND SLIDE ♪
♪ NOW DIP, THAT'S RIGHT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ YOU WANT IT ♪
♪ BABY, YOU GOT IT ♪
♪ DO THE NEW DANCE, COME ON, WAVE YOUR HANDS ♪